


Gura's new Dad

by VoidWinnower (SumDumMuffin)



Category: Hololive, Hololive En, holoMyth
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, F/F, Family Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/VoidWinnower
Summary: Gura gets a new dad.
Relationships: Mori Calliope/Takanashi Kiara
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	Gura's new Dad

**Author's Note:**

> [#Takamori](https://twitter.com/hashtag/TAKAMORI?src=hashtag_click)
> 
> So the meme started when Calliope did a sponsored reading stream for ‘My Dad is the Queen of all Vtubers?’ and the obvious joke to make was ‘wow Callie, it’s kind of conceited to read a manga about yourself, *gremlin laugh*.'
> 
> And Kiara's membership starts out as eggs that hatch into chickens, so she claims her viewers are all her adopted children that she hatches herself ~~And eventually cooks and eats.~~ Thus, Takamori is Mom and Dad, and once that conceit started it's easy to find opportunities to reinforce it, like if Calliope plays a videogame with a dad main character. 
> 
>   
> I know that Callies actually great with kids irl, but the fic is funnier if she’s not. That’s why it’s a crack fic, I guess. 
> 
>   
> [Relevant tweet](https://twitter.com/gawrgura/status/1364805219465445383), for a part in the middle.

"Hey Gura, I hear you're getting a new dad," Amelia grinned, smugly, at school one day.

Gura stuck out her tongue and pulled down her left eyelid, “Yeah, I guess you missed your chance." 

Amelia leaned out of her desk to try to grab at Gura's head, and Gura successfully defended herself.

“Oh?” Ina said, when she sat down at her own desk, a minute before class was set to begin, “I don’t think I’ve ever met your mom, Gura.” 

“She’s super hot,” Amelia said, and she dodged Gura's inevitable elbow, "because she's a phoenix, I mean. She's literally on fire, some of the time.” 

Gura smirked at the wall. "Suuure that's what you meant. And, yeah, she's been rather private about her dating life but I guess she's finally found someone." 

  
  
  


Gura unlocked the door to her house and made to throw her coat on the floor before remembering that she probably wanted to make a good impression- but then she realized, there was already a coat on the floor. 

"Moooom," Gura called into the house, "I’m home! Do I get to meet my new dad now?"

And when Gura walked into the living room some sort of goth wine-mom looking lady with long pink hair in a hime cut was sitting on the couch, frozen, a dark bottle held upward against her mouth, and she stared, wide-eyed, straight at Gura. 

"Oh, does my mom have friends over?" Gura said. “Oh wait- maybe you’re helping her new boyfriend move in?” 

“Uhhhh," said the lady, and she placed her bottle on the coffee table, “Actually-”

Kiara came in from the kitchen then, in an apron. Gura could smell the meatloaf cooking in the kitchen. 

"Gura-chan!" Kiara called out, and she ran up to pick up her shark daughter in a hug. 

"Mama~!" Gura said. She smiled. "I got a 100% on my Japanese test!" 

Kiara gasped, theatrically, "You did? Oh I’m so proud of you! Mwah!" She smooched Gura’s forehead. Gura giggled. 

The pink-haired lady scrunched her mouth to the side. “Hey, I know Japanese too,” she said. 

Kiara started balancing apples on Gura’s head, to reward her studiousness. “Of course you do, Callie.” 

“Sooooo,” the woman apparently named ‘Callie’ said, “Do I also get a smooch?” 

Gura avoided turning her head to not knock over the three apples stacked on top of her, but in the corner of her eye, she saw her mother smirk and blush, slightly. 

“Is that what you want?” Kiara said. 

And Callie looked to the wall and then her feet and a blush crept up her face, and she nodded slightly.

And then Kiara brushed her hand against Callie’s chin to tilt the taller woman’s head down enough for Kiara to plant a smooch on her forehead. 

“So, Gura-chan, this-” Kiara waved towards Callie, “Is your new dad!” 

“Guh!” Callie sputtered out, “I’m not- We’re not, married-” 

Kiara waved her left hand, to show off her engagement ring, “I mean, not for a week.” 

Callie’s blush intensified, “I mean, only because, you wanted to….” 

“Anway, sorry about not introducing you before now, Gura-chan,” Kiara said, “I just wanted to be sure she was the one, you know?” Kiara’s mouth widened into a grin, “And I really know, you know?” 

Gura nodded. “When you know, you know.” 

“Anyway, she’s really tsundere,” Kiara said to Gura, “So be nice to her.” 

“Okaaayy, mom,” Gura said.

“And that goes double for you, Callie!” Kiara smacked Callie's shoulder. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You know, weddings are great because you get _free food_ ,” Amelia said, between bites, ”And also, true love, I guess.” 

Gura was inclined to agree, in between her bites of peppermint cheesecake and other fancy snack foods. She had a table with Ame and Ina while the rest of the guests did whatever adults did at wedding receptions. 

Like, for instance, her mom and stepmom were at the dance floor. Calliope had a long white dress and a bridal veil slung back over her long pink hair, and Kiara was in a snappy white suit with accents that brought out her hair. Calliope was staring at the ground and blushing as Kiara danced with her. 

Gura found herself looking away. 

“Thanks for officiating for cheap, by the way,” Gura said to Ina. 

Amelia nodded. “Yeah, it’s cool you’re already a high priestess, despite still being in high school,” 

“Humu, I’m happy to help out, for true love,” Ina said, “and for free food.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, Kiddo,” Calliope said, to Gura, one day. 

Gura turned on her heels, and Callie rubbed the back of her head with the hand that wasn’t holding a bottle. 

Callie had on a forced smile, “So would you, like to ride on my back?”

Gura’s expression flattened. "Why, because I’m short?” 

“What- no! Because, kids like that, right?” Callie said. She took a sip from her wine and refreshed her smile. 

“That’s _little_ kid stuff,” Gura folded her arms. “I'm a 9000-year-old high schooler, you know.” 

“Right, right,” Callie looked to the wall and rubbed the back of her head. “Well, I also, uh, got you a present…” 

And Callie pulled out a small bag to hand to her daughter-in-law and Gura accepted it with a tentative difference and looked inside to find a box of expensive crayons. 

“Oh,” Gura said. It was a thoughtful gift, but like, it wasn’t, strictly necessary. “Yeah, thanks!” And Gura smiled to indicate she was happy, to show her step-mom that she didn’t need to try anymore. 

“Now, make them last,” Callie chuckled, and then her expression suddenly turned into an awkward grimace, “Or like, don’t, I can get you more, it’s not a problem,” She nodded, three times. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Well, the new dad can’t be all that bad, if she’s giving you these fancy gifts,” Amelia said, between bites. 

“Hey, I’m supposed to make these last,” Gura said. She took the half-eaten crayon out of Amelia’s hand and nibbled on the other end. “Stop hogging them all!”

Gura and Amelia wrestled over the blue crayons since blue was the best flavor. 

“Mostly it's just been awkward.” Gura said, after victory, “Like, she’ll be passed out on the couch in the afternoon, but I want to play RFA in the living room.” 

“Well, that’s the benefit of having a Switch, right? You can just bring it into your room?” Amelia said.

“And my mom’s all over her, all the time,” Gura said. She puffed out her left cheek. 

“Awww, are you feeling left out?” Amelia said. “I can always give you attention if you want.”

Gura lightly shoved her best friend. “You wish.” 

"But, I should probably do something for her, now, to reciprocate," Gura pondered aloud as she chewed on a blue. 

“Well,” Ina said, when she sat down to join them, “You could also use those crayons to draw something for her.” She nodded. "That seems like something most kids do when their parens buy them crayons."

“But these are _expensive_ crayoooonsss," Gura rolled her head over on her desk, "And my drawing style is scary. Oh! Maybe you can you draw something for me, Ina?"

"I think it'll mean more if you draw it," Ina said. "Buuut, I'll be willing to consult for you, in exchange for a bite of purple."

“Wowowow!” Kiara said, that afternoon, looking at the crayon drawing Gura made of herself and Callie, “This is so good, Gura-chan!” 

“Aww, thanks mom!” Gura beamed. She appreciated that Kiara always earnestly liked her art regardless of quality. 

Kiara turned to her wife. “Isn’t this so good?” 

Callie, for her credit, managed to keep a neutral expression.

"I'm going to put this on the fridge, okay?" Kiara said. 

"S-sure," Callie said. 

“Hey Kiddo,” Calliope said, one weekend. 

“Hey, Calliope,” Gura said. 

“You can call me, um” Callie coughed, “Well, I guess ‘Dad’, if you want?” 

Gura scrunched her mouth to the side. “I thought Kiara said you both could be moms."

“I mean, that, too - Listen,” Callie kneeled down, “I want to try my best here, and, there's gotta be some, effort on both our ends right?" 

Gura shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” 

“And, if I'm going to be doing typical Dad things, uh,” Callie glanced to the left, “Do you want some wine?” 

  
  
  
  
  


“Like, I seriously have a goldfish attention span,” Calliope said, slumped over the couch, a couple of glasses in. 

“Wow, really?” Gura said, swirling the words around her pointy shark mouth, “Snap back yo, I have a really short attention span too.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Callie said. She took another sip of her wine. 

Gura slumped over the couch and stared at the ceiling. She had almost finished her first glass. 

“So, Kusotori tells me you like to sing?” Callie said. 

"I do," Gura said. "And she mentioned you were also a musical artist?"

“I'm more of a rapper than a singer, but I’m drunk,” Callie said, “And I notice we have a karaoke set..." 

And then three songs into bad drunk karaoke, Gura and Callie finally felt like family. 

  
  
  
  


OMAKE: 

"Moooom, Daaaad," Gura called into the house, "I’m home! Do I get to meet my new sister now?"

Kiara stepped aside to reveal some kind of Frankenstein zombie mummy with vampire teeth. 

"You know that when a phoenix and a reaper mate the baby is a zombo?" Kiara said. 

Gura nodded. "That checks out." 

Callie rubbed the back of her head. "Well, if she's life and I'm death it sort of makes sense that Ollie here would be undead...." 

"Gura-nee!" Ollie ran up to Gura. She jumped up and started nuzzling Gura's hair. "Wangy-wangy-wangy! I have such a cute big sister!" 

"Uh, thanks," Gura said, to the small zombie crawling over her, smelling her head because that's a Southeast-Asian ritual to display affection, "but I haven't washed my hoodie in a few weeks..." 

"Looks like she's inherited the bottom leftness from Kusotori," Callie mumbled. 

OMAKE 2:

"Heh heh heh," chortled Amelia, "Now that Gura and I are married I have _two_ hot moms!"

"Don't forget a sweet imouto, Ame-nee!" Ollie waved her arms like a muppet.   
  
"You, didn't marry me just to get with my family, did you Watson?" Gura said.

"Nooo," Amelia said. She gently ran her hand through Gura's hair. "It's also for the _free food_."

And Gura tried to grab at Ame's head. 


End file.
